I haven’t been updating the blog as much as I’d like. Many reasons really; 1. Stats show I am pretty much the only one reading it (with occasional blips from spam?) Though, to be fair, others have read my posts on occasion. 2. When I am healthy, I don’t think to post 3. When I am not health I have no energy.
Today, I feel the need to post.
I have been fighting some bug or another for a bit over two weeks now (or so I thought), but today, I am starting to think it is my Thyroid numbers climbing. Thankfully I have had my blood test done, and show be hearing from doc any day now. What changed my mind, I hear you thinking.
Well, talking with Mom actually. We talk about all sorts of things, and usually (when numbers are fine) stuff she says I understand and respect. But when my numbers are low, I can sometimes take them to heart or feel hurt. Today, I found myself feeling low for a lack of better words. this morning after a decent nights sleep I felt fine, no upset stomach, no headache, no stuffiness. I felt, fine. But within 2 or 3 hours, I felt just EXHAUSTED, like I had been put through the wringer or run a marathon or something. I hadn’t done anything, just sat on my couch.
When I went for my nap, I couldn’t sleep! WIDE AWAKE! WHAT.THE.HELL. So, I rested for an hour, got up, felt fine. and now, again I am feeling exhausted.
I have also noticed the last few days or so that it is harder and harder to reason with myself. Those voices telling me that things aren’t so great, money problems are just around the corner, the fact hubby and I …. well, that he might find someone else … ALL these things. I KNOW better, I do! But, those voices are getting louder, and it is harder to ignore each day. Just typing that makes me want to cry. (because I am an idiot, and some how sharing makes it real)
Hard part is, when my thyroid is behaving, I KNOW the voices are lying, and all I have to do is say in my head “Pftt, whatever, shut up” and it goes away. for days even weeks. But now, even though I KNOW they are lying, I can NOT shut them up.
I do know that if doc doesn’t call with my results tomorrow, OR if his receptionist tells me he doesn’t need to see me, I AM booking an appointment. If I have to I will grab him by the shirt and say “DUDE! My brain is melting!” … err yeah, I won’t do that, but I will tell him something’s up and please double check my numbers aren’t high. I would bet money that the numbers are close to 3.4 or higher.
YES, I KNOW that 1.2 – 4.1 is the “average range”, bot for me, I do NOT feel normal unless my numbers at .8 – 1.2 range.
I’ve know for about 3 months my numbers have been climbing, last blood test had me at 2.3 (or maybe 2.5?) but symptoms weren’t bad then. just not as active. No brain issues. No paranoia or depression. And certainly no exhaustion and the ability to catch a cold from 400,000,000 miles away.
Doc, DUDE! UP MY MEDS!! Please …