So, I made a post yesterday, password protected*, that never cross posted anywhere. Which, is ok really. It was mostly just for me to get my thoughts together/out about some shit going on with in the family right now.
But it made me realize something. I can get depressed or weepy over some really stupid shit. Yet this thing that I guess should be a big deal (?), hasn’t really affected me. Oh, sure I have compassion, and “worries” and such for those involved (one more than the other) and I do think about it. But it hasn’t thrown me into a fit of crying like, say, a piece of hair in my food might do (yeah, that happened a few weeks ago. Don’t judge me).
I can’t figure out if this means my higher dose thyroid meds are finally kicking in, or the B 12 maybe, or if it is just one of those things that you feel should be happening you don’t have the “right” reactions? I don’t think I would go so far as to say I feel guilt at this, but I do feel a sense of wrongness. Like I SHOULD feel guilty that I am not sadder. (more sad? whatever)
Let me ask you, the reader, is there ever times in your life that something happens in your family, happy or sad, where you just think “Hmm about time” and don’t have the expected response? Hell, don’t ask ME how I am feeling, it’s not happening TO me, just around me. I am the doughnut hole, not the doughnut.
*If you are super curious It’s cool to ask me to see it. Just be prepared for me to say no if you aren’t some one I know or trust.