Blogging, because it is less in your face than twitter or Facebook

Just me talking more about my health.

We (As if anyone else is in my head/body?) am now coming up on the 5 th week of my breathing and lung problems. Not even sure what I have mentioned to this point, so some of this post will be a rehash of what I have said, I assume?

So, doc gave me codeine pills of some sort to help suppress the cough at night, and for the most part it is helping. I think it is a combination of all the changes that is making the difference. It is a slow SLOW process right now, and very frustrating.The day coughing is lessening, and to be fair, even at night it is a bit better. It’s just that I am not falling asleep until 3 or 4 am again (not sure why that’s started again), so by the time 5 am rolls around (for some odd reason it is very close to 5 am I have a coughing fit), I have only had an hour or two of sleep. I can usually go back to sleep fairly quickly, and sleep until 10. But it isn’t enough.

I am trying very hard to focus on the improvements, and keep telling myself over and over and over, that it is getting better, and listing the changes, but when I can hear the gurgling crackling sound coming from my throat, seemingly louder as the day wears on, until some point early evening, when I realize that the sounds are gone, my breathing is ok, and my sinuses are empty … I feel foolish, I feel worn out. For letting it get into my head, for not being able to push past the achingly long days and dragging time it is taking to be healthy. But I am human, and I have been sick for so long, that when I am healthy I tend to take it for granted. Which of course, in my mind amplifies that feeling of desperation and horribleness I feel when any sickness (lungs, cold, aching joints, anything) last longer than a day.

It starts feeling like I have never been healthy. The only thing keeping me sane is this blog, being able to feel like I am bitching to someone, anyone, without feeling like I am bumming folks out, or burdening them when they have their own problems.

I do worry I could relapse back to 2 weeks ago when it was at it’s worse, with the stress that’s been going on in my life lately. I am hoping a solution can be found.

I usually handle stress ok, I have a pretty strong, metaphorical, back for the worlds problems. But, every so often I feel like it is just too much, I want to run away from it all. That feeling use to last days, but with my depression and paranoia under control (thanks to thyroid sort of stabilizing), this time around it was just a brief half day (if that).

See, I am beginning to realize, that depression, anxiety, and even stress, has effected (affected? Damn I always get those mixed up) almost everyone in my close family, from my son, to my parents, and we thing even my husbands side of the tree. Apparently this tree doesn’t have the strongest of roots …

As much as I want to go into more detail on all of this, I must be truthful and tell you, it is NOT my story to tell. Not up to me to talk about things that aren’t about me.

Anyway, All this typing and now not being alone, has derailed my thoughts and I have forgotten the whole point of this post.

One last thing before I go, If anyone has ANY tips or tricks to getting rid of, or suppressing that wheezing crackling sound from throat/sinus, I would LOVE some input!

 

tl;dr

I was whining in public again, just need to vent, while trying to convince myself things are better (they are, just not fast enough)

Also, just give me advice for wheezing and crackling sinuses! PLEASE!

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