So much for positivity

Positivity, what an odd word. Spell check says it is right, Google says it is a word, but it makes me think of electricity!

Oh, Adding a TMI warning to this. I talk about my vagina problem(s). (briefly) Also? Just avoid this post all together. No, really, You’ll thank me for it. It turns into a real pity party in the end.

ANYWAY, I have been trying VERY hard to be positive, think positive (in regards to health at least), but when you feel like crap all the time it is very hard. And now, it is getting dark earlier and it is throwing me off.

Thyroid wise, I haven’t really had any flare up of symptoms I usually notice if my numbers are higher than we like, but it could be that they are masked by this bug we have all been fighting. Everyone else seems to be over it, but I still feel off. Could be the timing of the damned thing. Hit around the same time as my period. And this time I got nodules on my labia minora. Doc calls them nodules, I call them boils (not actually boils, but this one is very similar). Usually they are out of the way of where I wipe and fade away as soon as my period is done. This time however, it is in the way, inflamed due to wiping, and very sore. I also think it may have popped? I know right? how do you not know. Because when I get these in the area I wipe, they always leave behind little bits of blood. They get so sore. But this is a bit more, and hurts.

But enough of that. Pretty sure folks are grossed out now. I am.

The point of that, is that such things can add to your overall health. Nodule or boil, or whatever it is holds poisons, add that to all the other issues (some flu or cold or stomach thing) and it throws the whole system off. I WANT to start posting “Hey look, I am better”, but how can I if I am not? And WHY does the damned Thyroid control so much? These nodules, colds, flus, even the asthma is all affected by the Thyroid. Never had Nodules before my thyroid decided to be a bitch. Hardly ever got stomach bugs. Colds, yeah, never the Flu though. Now I seem to get it all.

Top that off with the season changes, and the fact I have no friends at all (not counting hubby) that I can go out do things with, it is NOT helping my mood. I HAD a friend, but she moved and of course I became a no body. Forgotten about. I tried for awhile, texted, FB’d, but after awhile you have to take the hint and give up. I got sick of seeing all the “look at the fun” on days my visits were canceled for one reason or another. So I ended up un-friending her. It hurts though. I miss her kiddos so much, and I miss having a friend. But, then, would a friend do that to a person? Make dates and cancel every single one of them?

Ack, sorry, that took a down turn. I need to go sit in the sun and soak up some mood enhancer.

I am not a people person, I don’t like crowds, or lots of noise, but I would like someone to hang out with, go for coffee, or just whine to. I don’t make friends easily, being a hermit sort of dulls social skills, and not leaving the house does affect how many people you can interact with. hahaha

Ok, this is really turning into a nasty pity party. ick. Time to go kill things in Diablo after some sun worship. *thumbs up*

If you made it to here? Thanks! πŸ˜€ But, what is WRONG with you? πŸ˜‰

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