I need a good brain dump. So be warned, this post will ramble, be mostly about nothing, and more than likely make no sense. Just finding my brain wandering and rambling over nothing, and for some odd reason, posting here helps that.
First, I just want to say that even though I may post my life out there on the net, I am actually QUITE reserved emotionally (normally, with 90% of the world). That is to say, I don’t really open up with folks I don’t know well, or care about. If I hate/like you, chances are you won’t know for a long time. I seldom post or respond to anyone’s posts/tweets/pics etc. So when I do, Just know that my words probably aren’t conveying the true emotion I am feeling. If I give a “hug” or kiss or smile, I really am feeling much stronger feelings than type can feel. Chances are I am feeling close to what you are feeling.
And if I don’t post? Doesn’t mean I am not there, just chances are others have said it better, or I missed it, or I just have no clue what to say.
It’s not you, it’s me. 😛
Now on to the real nonsensical ramblings.
Lately I am thinking my thyroid numbers may be off. I am not sure though, the “symptoms” are completely different than usual. The wacky sleep patterns haven’t changed, but I am much more emo than usual. The oddest things can make me teary. BUT, I do not feel depressed or even sad. While I am unhappy with my laziness (yet to lazy to change it ) overall I am happy enough. Spring being here already helps I think. Seriously, trees are budding, grass is growing, and birds have babies. IT IS FEBRUARY FOR FUCK SAKES!!! NOT RIGHT.
*ahem* Sorry for yelling, but it freaks me out. We live where it shouldn’t be Spring until late March Mid-April. This is very weird. Yet, noooooo There’s no such thing as global warming, right? *end sarcasm*
Other than this family constantly passing around some cold or another (usually nothing big), I think hubby is doing better? I admit, my empathetic nature tends to have me worry needlessly and project sadness etc when there probably isn’t. I am working on that. Hard not to worry though, I naturally worry about others well-being over anything else.
Lately my spirit has REALLY been itching to get shit done around the house. Clean, straighten, overall organizing of the house and our lives. Unfortunately my body has just not been willing. I have been fighting some bug or another. I feel fine in short bursts, but overall I have no energy and stomach cramps.
Monday is my sigmoidoscopy, and possible hemorrhoid removal. Not worried about it, in fact my recent issues with my bowels has made me hopefully that it will be more noticeable if there is something wrong. Just want whatever the problem is to be found and FIXED. I will admit I am a bit nervous about the enema. With how I can feel during a regular bowel movement, and knowing they will be doing it twice? Not really sure you can prepare for that. Feeling like I am in labour is not something I look forward to. On the up side, I know that it is for a reason and SHOULD pass after a day or so. And hopefully it will be worth it (if they find the problem of it all).
I do with at times I could figure out how to arrange this house so it flowed better. If I didn’t have to go to the basement for laundry chances are that would not be so piled up.
Anyway, my brain is as empty as it’s going to be for now. At least, I am becoming distracted from typing, which usually signals that my thoughts are less rambling in my head. Whatever works I suppose.