Sick of me yet?

Seriously, I have no CLUE why I keep posting. Usually I only get verbal diarrhea when I am in a good mood. (My brother is like that too. πŸ˜€ 😦 Wish he was ok. 😦 )

Shockingly stats show people reading, you know that just encourages me right? (Please don’t stop! I need attention dammit!)

Anyway, short post, I hope. Just a follow-up on my early post today yesterday now I guess. Seems if you whine enough you get what you want. ha!

*Best whiny voice* I need money, and better health, and hubby to feel better, and and and for me to feel better, and for mental illness to not exist, and and for my brother to get better, and and …

Ok, yeah, not working.

So yeah, basically just needed to put out there that now that everyone is in bed, seems my “Can’t/won’t sleep” thing is back. If I was 3 you’d swear I thought the bed bites. I have no clue why my brain does this. I get this lonely “ANYONE talk to me” vibe going, and even though I can barely keep my eyes open I just will not go to bed. I can’t explain the feeling, it’s not an out right fear, but that’s a part of it.

I know my brain will scream at me in my sleep.

So, folks? If you’re out there, reading this? I know I am not alone, and if I am feeling this way, I’m pretty sure someone is feeling worse.

So this is for you. *GIANT BEAR HUG* Maybe if we all just pile into a group hug, we can all feel a bit better?

And I am going to go to bed (NOT take a pill *crosses fingers* and tell myself that sometimes a good cry is all we need and that my brain is a big fat fucking liar!

Cause know what? I went full on girl today (well, for me. Sort of high heels and a pink top. Shuddup! I … I sort of liked it. SHUDDUP!!). SO I am going to hold on to THAT feeling now, and try to get through this shit storm that is threatening.

I may even just think of Jared and Jensen telling me to keep fighting. heh yep, that could work. (maybe)

It’s not winter any more, so why the hell is my brain trying to destroy me? Later sun is supposed to be what charges my batteries. I shine in better weather. 😦

Always keep fight, right? (But why does it have to be so damned constant these days?)

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