Once again I drone on to hear the sound of my own … voice?

Ok, stupid title, this is in type not voice. Still, I do hear my voice as I type, so I’ll count it.

Once again, I find myself with the incessant need to type out my problems for .00001% of the world to see (I’m not good with math. WHAT percentage is 2 people? ;)).

I find it ironic that I feel the need to whine about my arm in a post that typing out hurts my arm. Could be a sign to shut up about the damned thing, but when have I ever listen to any one, including myself? Oh that makes my head hurt, I’ll leave that question for another day.

I have had so many injuries in my life, from minor to major that I know majority of the routines now for home care and rehab. I do research it as ideas change over time, and no one seems to agree on the solutions.

With this arm problem though, I have no idea what started it all, and where the main problem is. It could be my bursitis, it could be carpal tunnel, or it could even be something called ulnar nerve something something. Doc told me awhile back my ulnar nerve was (probably) being compressed. Or, you know, it could even be a combination of all of those things, a domino effect most likely. One problem starts it, the rest fall in line with the bringing of the pain.

Thing is, where the pain is centralized, or was, leads me to believe that it is the ulnar nerve thing, as that runs the whole length of the arm. Although, today the pain seems to be concentrated in my wrist.

What ever the problem is, I know I am becoming VERY impatient for my appointment on Thursday. A few times I was tempted to just go up to emergency. Especially when my hand starts to tingle like it was asleep. But, I know there is no point to that. It’s not a heart attack, unless you can have a 3 month heart attack that is only in your arm? And it really isn’t life threatening, I hope. It is just annoying and could mean damage to that nerve in the long run. Which, May not be a good thing, but is not an emergency room visit.

From all I remember, and all I have looked up, no one can decide if it needs hot or cold, rest or motion, or if it will need medication or surgery. At this point I have kept it immobile (best I could) for almost 2 days (made it worse), tried to exercise it (OW), used cold packs (holy crap guys, that hurt so bad I was in tears after 2 minutes), used heat (the best for soothing if I don’t move), Worn my brace (not bad when awake, but made it worse while sleeping). I think you get the point. Over the past 2, almost 3 months now, I have tried everything ever recommended. And so far, heat (sparingly) and my brace when out and about is the only things that do not make it worse.

I am at a loss as to what doc will have me do. I am pretty sure I will need surgery, especially as this is not my first or even second time I have had this problem. But it is the worst it has ever been. It’s affecting my sleep now.

Normally I would have no problem with surgery. But, I must admit, when I was put under for my sigmoidoscopy, I hated the feeling of needing air. Sort of freaked me out a bit, with my asthma and all that. And to be completely honest? I can’t use my left hand for the life of me. I have been trying, I can NOT do it. Maybe if it was in a cast or something? I know back in high school I got really good with my left hand.

I don’t know. I am usually SO GOOD about not worrying until after all the facts are in and it’s all dealt with, but this is really, really bothering me. I don’t know why, and I do not like it, not one bit.

I wouldn’t call it a fear, just that itchy feeling in your brain that you should be thinking about it, constantly. It’s probably the lack of proper sleep messing with my head.

You know, I have to say, the last 3 days of this pain being so freaking pad? My depression isn’t bad. :/ Odd. Never really thought about it until now. I wonder if there is an actual correlation, or if it is purely coincidence?

Well, that is MORE than enough from me. My hand is numb and freezing while my arm is in pain and burning.

Thursday can NOT get here fast enough.

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