Holding back hope is NOT an option. TMI

This post might not be safe to read at work. Or, come to think of it, any time.

Heads up, it involves lady parts.

 

So I had made an appointment to see doc today about my arm. When I phoned for the appointment, my arm was worse, not better.

Well, since my arm was not in much pain the last few days, I managed to talk to him about something else. Hysterectomy. I know many women would cringe at that, as if the uterus some how makes them a women. I am damned close to 46 (I think), I don’t need the damned thing any more, and I am sick of the guaranteed pain and misery every month.

I have wanted one since I gave birth. One kid is enough. I have so many people (my mother included) tell me that it is not a good idea, for many reasons, but the main running commentary is how I’d be less of a women. So I will say this now, if you plan on commenting with that thought, or feel less of me? Get the fuck off my blog now.

I will still have a vagina, ovaries, and my breasts, so I am no less women, just a hell of a lot happier one.

Now, of course I am putting the cart before the horse on this. Doc, and who ever he referred me to, has NOT said they will in fact give me a hysterectomy. BUT, he has agreed to refer me, and get me an ultra sound to make sure all my issues aren’t something more serious. As an example, if my wonderful fibroid has grown to grapefruit size, then they can’t just deal with the hysterectomy in an easy way. I’d have to be cut open as opposed to a laparoscopic surgery. But that doesn’t bother me. I’m old hat with surgeries. 😉

Now, considering the sate of our province when it comes to referrals, I have a BAD feeling I may have another year, or more, of dealing with my period and all it’s trouble. But, as long as I know it may be in the works, I will be ok with that.

I’m not even going to try and squash my hope on this. It was too late the second he agreed to refer me. AND when he said the ultra sound was just to make sure the hysterectomy can be done with out an issue, any tiny ability to hold back the hope jumped up, opened the window, jumped out, and ran away with my youth. 😀

Guys, you have no clue what I have gone through from the very first period. WHICH was when I was 8, or 9, BTW. So, yeah, this is long over due.

I don’t believe in any god, but I might just start praying to them all if it will speed things up? 😉

I haven’t been this excited for something to happen since my breast reduction, marriage, I mean my marriage. (Love you hunny!)

Cross fingers folks!

 

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