What not to tell your father.

Alternate titles:

What is family for

When families attack!

How to reopen emotional wounds in 1 simple step.

Fathers are assholes.

And many more!

 

See, I LOVE my parents, honest, I do. I was a tom girl (still am) , Daddy’s little girl, and Daddy’s favourite. When I was younger, and even into adulthood, I never really knew that much about my parents other than what was on the surface, Like many kids, I had my own life and didn’t care.

Then, one day I became a parent. I started noticing more of the depth of my parents. I figured if I was going to be a good parent, I should act as my folks did, Right? We’ll get to that in a minute.

I never realized how little may parents ACTUALLY talked to each other. Didn’t realize they practically hate each other. They hid it well. And really, the more I learned, the more I realized they were just roommates. Odd thing to learn when you are looking for guidance on what to do.

I never saw Dad’s mean streak, not physical, just snark. Never saw the loneliness, until I became a parent myself. It was rather disconcerting at first. To have your idolized memories shattered like that.

As my son got older, and I saw more interaction between him and my father, I realized just how much of an ASS he could be. Also began to have the blinders removed on his drinking. Still not so sure he drank like that when I was younger?

The more time passed, the more I became Mom’s confidant. NOT a good thing to do parents, by the way. Honestly, I don’t care how old your child is, 20 or 50, do NOT tell all your problems to them. Seriously messed up.

Thing is? I rarely, even now, saw this from my Dad. I have always been the favourite. I am pretty much the ONLY person in the world who can tell him to sit down and shut up. Or any combination of that. My husband would be the second person who might get away with it, and my son? Well, He has the most power to hurt my Dad by just not saying a word.

Now, you see, in the last 19 years of becoming as parent, I have been learning this. In 19 years, you would think I had learned NOT to say anything to my father about emotional issues. Although, to be fair, he has been amazing with my husband regarding his time off work, and why.

I didn’t learn. I told him about my problem from yesterday.

I was up at the folks place to clean their windows, did the inside a week ago, needed to finish up outside now the weather is nice. Plus getting paid $50 for 5 windows is a nice bonus.

BIG mistake. “You are fat. What’s the problem. Just forget it.” WHILE patting my stomach ….

Thanks Dad. Nice to hear.

I just looked at him and said “Really Dad? I don’t need that from you too, just shut up before I walk out of here and leave the windows for you to do. But I will take the money.”

I think I may have added he was one to talk, but that’s nothing to him. he could not care any less about what others think.

Thing is? From my Dad? It just made me roll my eyes and snort. He just does NOT think before he opens his mouth. SO many things come from that mouth. And being the only one who can shut him down I have learned when and what I can say that works best. If Mom hadn’t been there, I could have (and would have) told him to “Just shut the fuck up Dad, that’s uncalled for.” But, alas, if I said that with Mom in ear shot I would have been smacked. hehe She might swear some, but DAMN if I don’t know I sure as hell can’t. I STILL throw up if I even THINK I can taste soap in my food. *gag* Very bad, BAD, memory (but great story. :D).

 

Yep, my Dad. Always good for a story, as long as you start out with “He doesn’t MEAN it that way, but ….”

Some days you just have to laugh.

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