Look, I may have body issues 90% of the time, but I have always been proud of my personality and the fact I am a tom boy. I LIKE my clothes, I HATE makeup, and don’t get me started on pink. Seriously. Oh, and red.
A lot of that stems from having an older brother (5 years older) and the folks not being able to have another child, adopted a girl … I was the dress up doll. ALWAYS in dresses, pink and red “Because you look AMAZING in those colours. with your olive skin and auburn hair and green-hazel eyes! You SPARKLE my dear.”
Yeah, well. As soon as I was old enough I put my foot down on being dressed up. Read this early morning post for more on that.
BUT, I am a “girl” and once in a BLUE moon, when my mood is JUST right and the the planets are in some sort of alignment and 20 ants have marched past the door, and half the planet has sneezed, I will feel like being girly.
I know, it’s shocking I admit, but it does happen on rare occasion. And since it is so rare I have very little to be girly with. Expired foundation, my usual blush and a bronzer, expired mascara and eyeliner. And lipstick that is hundreds of years old (Pretty sure I have had it since I was 18.) I make do though, using the foundation as concealer, and the bronzer as eyeshadow. *shrugs* it works. I forget how long my lashes are until after I use mascara and they keep hitting my glasses. 😀
Well, today was one of those days. I felt girly.
I EVEN wore PINK, and sleeveless. Ask anyone, that’s HUGE, as in the world is ending huge. It NEVER happens, not all at once like that.
Thing is? Even before that, I felt good. I had no dreams last night (That I remember) I FAX the paperwork for the medical history, and I had taken a sleeping pill, so woke up sort of refreshed. So the girly persona just added to it.
Guys, the thing is, Usually when in public I get service quickly and even with a smile, It’s my “Gotta be human” persona I worked on when I was a clerk and waitress. I am good at it. I am also very good at the “Bitch, don’t mess with me” attitude when needed.
But, the thing is, What I got today was … different. SO weird. I have no clue how to describe it. Usually I am avoided, or bumped into. Today it was like I was alone with my personal bubble being un-breached at all times. Even woman were smiling at me. I get smiles other times, but this was … WEIRD!
No one cat called me (thank god, hate to get blood on my shirt), or anything like that, but I did get the “need help” more often than I needed. And just, just, it was WEIRD! I felt like people actually looked at me differently, I felt like I had somehow learned the secret handshake of the popular kids.
And I did NOT like it.
I think maybe in time, if I did this more often I would come to like it, but I was shaking and felt like throwing up the whole time, just because I felt exposed and raw in the shirt, and the makeup felt like I was wearing a sign saying “LOOK AT ME! I CAN BE PRETTY TOO!”
The stress isn’t worth it, not every day. No, seriously. I was on verge of a migraine I felt so stressed about it.
But, between you and me? I am pricing out basic makeup and may make a point of doing this once a month.
Maybe it wasn’t all bad?
Now I will go throw up, and nap! I am EXHAUSTED!