I’ve made up my mind, dammit!

So I am hoping that by posting here, it will keep me honest, on track, and motivated. Just not yet. 😀

See, the way I look at it, right this moment, I am in a good place. I haven’t been in a good place for a very long time. Between worrying about my family, my health, my adoption records (which I still haven’t gotten), and a shit storm of other stuff, I was in a VERY dark place. (wow, run-on much?)

SO, kidney is fine (apparently), my thyroid is under control, as is my asthma/allergies *knock-on-wood*, and I am getting the hysterectomy I have wanted since I had the kid 19 some odd years ago.

So here’s the thing. The SECOND I have had my hysterectomy and am recovered, I am going to dust off my treadmill, and I am GOING to get on that fucker and conquer it with all I have. I am GOING to lose weight for fuck sake, and I am GOING to not just feel good mentally, but physically, even if it fucking kills me! hehe

Right now, I am still slowly gaining my energy back, and just TALKING about the treadmill makes me want to sleep. But I am slowly beginning to putter a bit (though my house still looks like it was abandoned 40 years ago), and am guarding my good mood with a vengeance. I am torn on starting the treadmill now, or waiting until I have had the surgery. I KNOW me, I know that if I start now, then in a month stop for 2 – 6 weeks (depending on which way they do the surgery) I will not get back on.

SO, if I wait, but make notes, and declarations of my intent, I will be more likely to get on once I am recovered.

I think?

Which is what I am hoping this post will do. Motivate me.

All I know, is I LIKE where I am right now, and I want my body to reflect that. I am tired of being sick, I am tired of the darkness, and if the surgery, and then losing weight can help that stay a thing? I need to do that!

Wish me luck folks. A month (or more) is a long, LONG time for me to be making plans. I am so scared this mood will disappear before then.


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