Still not sure I have all the details in order, or at all. But I will try to piece together a post here for those curious about what’s been going on.
Monday morning I showed up at the hospital, about 30 minutes early. The wait actually didn’t seem that long. Had both hubby and son with me. By the time I hit the second floor it was go, go, go! Got checked in, put in a bed, and had a flurry of questions thrown at me. All the same questions from the pre-op appointment a week ago. Had some blood taken, and more fun fabric/plastic bracelets put on, and of course disrobed and an IV.
Through out all of this my boys looked paler than I would after surgery. Very funny. Neither likes hospitals, and both hate needles. I just watched and made suggestions on which veins to try.
I was complimented a few times on what a good patient I was and so un-fussy. But the way I see it, you can fuss and moan, making it unpleasant experience for you AND the nurses/doctor(s) working on you, or you can just relax, realize it all needs to be done and have a calmer experience for all involved. The latter is always my choice.
I wasn’t allowed to take my bear in with me, or my glasses (which is difficult when coming too and everything is blurry! Makes for interesting views?). I was wheeled down the hallway to the operating room and delivered almost with in 30 minutes of being on the second floor. I had expected some wait time. But they got right down to business.
I don’t remember a lot from here on but I’ll try my best. I remember being in the OR and this air pillow thing under me blowing up with a gentle warm air. It was like a summer breeze on a hot day sort of. Only less earthy smelling, more medicinal. I remember giggling because for some reason that was funny to me. I remember expecting them to put something in my IV and the warm body feeling, but instead being given a mask to breath into (I realize the need for the two different ways, but I dislike the mask. I hate the smell). I can clearly remember thinking all of that and wanting to tell them I felt a bit like I needed air. Not a panicked feeling, not really, just a more mild sensation of hoping the mask would be gone soon.
I remember them asking me questions, and trying to answer but while my brain knew the answers, I was not able to talk. At one point just before I drifted off, The anesthetist said something to the nurse about being good, or easy to put under? Not really sure what he said, but she laughed and I was out.
The next thing I actual can recall is when waking up. But pretty sure the odd sensations and dreams I have – but can’t quite grasp on waking – could fill in a bit more details. I have flashes but nothing more. Just know when I wake up I feel like I have to stay awake? Or that is what wakes me?
I remember being held down, I remember that nasty medicinal smell of oxygen And hearing loud, not yelling, voices around me. And sense of urgency. I remember seeing bright light and feeling a whole body panic. I wanted, no NEEDED to sit up. I needed air, wanted it, grasped for it. I just KNEW I couldn’t lay down, I had to wake up. I knew there was a reason, but not what the reason was.
Then I remember someone trying to talk to me, I must have understood on some level because I answered them. I know I told them I couldn’t swallow, my throat was plugged, clogged I think I said. I do NOT remember any pain, just panic. Then a nurse, or someone, put something down my throat and suctioned out the offensive goo. It did help, but I was still having some difficulty. She asked if that was enough, and I recall saying “sure, ya” just because I did not want that thing down my throat (that’s what she said … huh, huh?) and after a time, not sure how long, of begging for a sip of water, they relented and I was given a small drop, much like you would imagine a mother bird giving a baby. Perhaps with a straw? And it was the sweetest thing I had tasted in my life.
I wanted more, but had to wait.
I’m not sure how much time past after that until my next memory. After all, if I squint really hard on concentrate on the universe, I think I recall the lights of the hallway going by? But that could be wrong or a mixed up memory. What I do remember is being in my room, being in and out of what I assume was consciousness and begging for more water. The feeling of my mouth so dry, my throat sticking together to prevent swallowing, and the air so dry I could feel my nose cracking and my skin shrinking. For what – at the time – I assumed was many hours I drifted in and out of that drugged state, fighting to stay awake. Fighting to hold on and remember where and what was going on. I have ALWAYS fought waking up from anesthetic. Have hated letting myself sleep until I knew I could hold my own. And this time was no different that way, but it took so much longer. I felt like it was more of a struggle. I wasn’t scared, just frustrated that I could not wake up fully.
At about that point I can clearly remember thinking if I called my husband it would help. At least let him know. I texted him. Not sure what I texted him, I know I THOUGHT I was saying “Done, all is well, trying to wake up” … actually, I think I may have called him? Not sure. I know he asked if he should come up and I said no. I wasn’t up for anyone right then.
Around 5 or 6 that night was when I finally started to gain all of my brain, though to be honest, I am not so sure I have it all yet! So easily groggy and tired.
From that point it was the usual. trying to be comfortable, very tired but restless, hungry but not wanting to eat. My main concern the whole time (until I got home actually) was getting rid of the desert in my mouth and throat!
I had amazing nurses who took amazing care of me. They all seemed amazed (especially the anesthetist) that was leaving and walking after just one day. What can I say, I prefer my own home.
I am not in as much pain as I thought I would be, but I am more uncomfortable than I’d like. I forgot how tired just going to the bathroom can make you after surgery.
I know I have missed a lot in this, maybe a second post some other day. For now, I am going to go back to sleep.
Right, So the final assessment of the situation. I have 4 tiny scars in various spots (one in the belly button) on my belly. They removed everything but the ovaries (Fallopian tubes, Uterus, and cervix). It all was done laparoscopically for the cutting, but removal was all vaginal. The pain is bearable, mostly just a horrid feeling of bloating and gas with the odd twinge of pain in the general area things were. I am 15 pounds heavier now than when I went in. And am more swollen than I have ever been. Hungry, but can barely eat due to the bloat.
Oddly, even my arm is beginning to ache again. grr.