As you may remember, I applied to get my adoption records back in June. I was just a TINY bit stressed about it once I sent it off. Add to that my surgery, and boy did my stress meter go off the rails, which is very unusual for me. I had all sorts of weird dreams. Everything seemed to focus on the adoption records. However, once I had my surgery, all that seemed to go out the window. It was almost as if I had forgotten about the records.
Then yesterday, I don’t even remember what was said, hubby and I spoke about the adoption records. I was a bit worried it would trigger the dreams again, but thankfully, no. That being said, when I checked the mail today, sure enough, the records were there.
I’ll say, I tweeted a bit too much in a very short span. But I was shocked by the emotions that hit me all at once. Like a gasoline explosion on a camp fire if my brain was sitting over top of it. I ran the gauntlet of emotions – from out right fear, to sadness, all the way to giddy – all within about a 10 minute span. I wasn’t even going to open it for a bit. But I put my big girl panties on and took a look.
I had another giggle when I saw how much of the information was [REDACTED] with the big black lines. Made me feel like some sort of spy baby or something. (my new joke). Thing is, I can’t figure out what type of information was redacted? I have both my birth mother and my birth fathers names, their addresses, and the fact birth father was married at the time, and not to my birth mom. Heck, I even have Birth mom’s address at the time. So what was redacted I have no clue.
The thing that annoys me? I have very little in medical records. That was the main thing I wanted. It’s like something wants me to search out my birth parents. NO! I do not believe in that sort of thing. It was just me trying to make sense of it. The most I have is my Birth mother had measles and chicken pox, and no known major diseases in the family. Well thanks. What do YOU class as major, and is that accurate? Doesn’t help me.
For anyone who might give a child up for adoption? PLEASE PLEASE send a full detailed medical record with the child. It just might be important some day. Hell, if you are prone to hang nails, include that, include it all, pimples, nasty PMS, migraines, stinky farts, whatever, include it all. Ok, maybe not the part about stinky farts, but still.
And yes, I have searched Google, Facebook, and Twitter for the names. Didn’t try super hard, and not even sure I ever will? After all, my birth father would be 85 – 86, and my birth mother would be 70. They probably don’t have a clue how to use a computer, let alone be on any social media. And who knows if they are even alive? And would they even want me to pop up this late in their lives? probably not.
I’m just glad the wait is over now. Not sure where I’ll go from here? But I have the information, and even though the main information I wanted was next to nothing, I no longer have to wonder what that information is.
Oddly, my emotional roller coaster was very short-lived, now I just shrug my shoulders and say “whatever. It’s done” and move on. To what? I don’t know.
I am also a bit sad that the letter Birth Mother wrote to me was not a part of the information. Mom held on to it for so many years, but with her and Dad relocating so much because Dad worked in the RCMP, it got lost. Mom remembered a lot of it, but some of that contradicts what the records say. Could be because she thought I’d never get the records.