No holidays for you [UPDATED]


Well, found out why we got double LTD payment this month. Hubby has been cut off.

Right now, I am overly calm. Pretty much because I can not fall apart now, how can I? Hubby needs as much support as he can right now.

I am pissed though, these people make their decision with no thought to the person or time of year. I mean honestly, he is on LTD because of anxiety and depression, and you decide to let him know the day before Christmas? Like fuck you.

The letter states that she told him during the last call. Which I know for a fact she did NOT tell him. What she DID tell him was that he was to get work rehabilitation (which hasn’t even been set up yet!) and that soon his claim would be review. Thing is, that same letter states that he is able to return to the same job, which he is not, not even by a stretch. And his therapist knows this as well, which the LTD lady never seems to talk to?

This means, he either needs to go back to the same job – which would seriously destroy him, I mean SERIOUSLY destroy him, maybe within days – OR he needs to find another job – but I truly don’t think he is well enough to deal with that stress? And ALL of this, while KNOWING we BARELY have enough money until the end of February. I am pretty sure boss-man will be ok if we don’t pay rent for a while (I sure hope?), but I highly doubt heat, electric, or any other bill will let us slide.

I know I won’t (and can’t) ever take the time to let this fully sink in and just have my own break down, and I get it. It’s not something I have the luxury of doing, but man, someday I am going to blow up in an amazing, SPECTACULAR fashion! We’re talking news worthy.

Yeah, not really. But some days I wish I could just *BOOM* go off. Ya know?

I will probably have to look at a second job myself now that I think about it. Yuck. I truly enjoy doing very little, but such is life. Just hope any that I get will allow me to take time as needed for the paperwork this job requires. :/

ANY WAY … Merry fucking Christmas.

Really hope I can keep it all together. Just don’t know … I will wear my “Always Keep Fighting” shirt until it falls apart if I have to, but I WILL be the rock, I will NOT fall apart or panic. I can … I hope?

Someone tell me I’ll be ok? PLEASE? I just … I need to hear it.



So last night I was wide awake, panicking, and in general just a jumpy mess. So, I spent time going through jobs (not a lot for me, but maybe?), e-mailed boss-man about not paying rent for a while, and then I went through my money program and guesstimated, and juggled, and swore, and think I came up with a plan. All depends on when, where, and who gets a job etc. And if kiddo helps us out (thankfully he is working).


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