Back to the drawing board

Not sure how many of you know my past, so I’ll briefly touch on that. About 8 years ago, I made the dumbest mistake of my life. No excuses as to why I did what I did, but I stole smokes from my work place. I would guesstimate about 6 packs or so? I am not sure. They TRIED to say that it was several cartons, and even tried to say I stole money from the till. NOT that what I did was any better, or worse, but I didn’t, and for some reason that accusation hurt more than the cigarettes.

At any rate, they kept my last cheque, which was a total of about $200 or so dollars? Maybe more? Which by my calculations was well past what I owed, but I wasn’t going to argue the fact. After all, let’s face, I fucked up ROYALLY!

I had hoped that it wouldn’t come back to bite me in the ass, not after so many years.

So jump to today.

I went in for my interview, and the lady at the front desk was adorable, telling me she was sure I would be hired “Oh, You are hired! I am sure of it” and while on the phone with the manger was just gushing about me.

So I go in the back with the manager and the interview, I felt, was going swimmingly. Just the way she was talking I felt I was sure to be hired. Then, she gets a call. The next interview was there, and “BTW *so&so* says that lady you just interviewed stole from them blah blah”. I couldn’t help but over hear, just the way the phone was setup.

My heart sank so low I thought I was going to throw up. Of course the managers mood changed, and she begins to cut the interview (It was almost over any way). I looked at her, I am sure I was visibly shaken, and said “I am sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but I could not help but over hear. I just would like to address what was said.” She apologized and looked embarrassed. Not sure if for me, or herself, it didn’t matter. I continued my little speech, “I just would like you to know, I never stole anything from the till. I did take smokes, which in the end was paid for. It was a stupid mistake, I had never done it before, or since. And I regret it every day of my life.”

Then, we wrapped up the meeting, and I will find out by the end of tomorrow that I am not hired. I did clarify if I would be called no matter the outcome. So when the phone rings, I will answer and say thank you for your time and I understand your position.


Well, off to cry a bit. Or something? This is REALLY not helping my depression but I will fight through.

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