I see so many people suffering right now. Health problems, mental, or just life in general. It seems like every where I look someone is being kicked in the teeth by something. Some of these people I care about very deeply (even if I have never met them), others I care just because they are on the same planet and seem like good folks.
The thing is, I hurt for them. I want to find the magic words and/or solution for them. I am the type of person that wants to make it all better. NOT to be the “hero” in the story, but because I know what that pain is like (maybe not EXACTLY their pain, but in general). I HATE seeing friends and loved ones hurting.
Right now, it hurts me even more, simple because for the first time in a VERY long time, my life is starting on an up swing. Sure, it’s not perfect, and I am sicker than a dog right now, but in the grand scheme of life? Yeah, it’s looking up. Still rough, and not perfect, but a happy place.
All that means what? I can hear you wonder. Why does that make me hurt more for others? Simply put? I have this built-in guilt button. I can’t control it. When I am doing well, and others aren’t? That button gets SLAMMED to the on position. I want to buy/help/fix/whatever everyone’s problems, but can’t, and I am happy. So I get guilty.
It’s stupid, and I am allowed to be happy, but it is who I am. I’m working on that.
At any rate, to any one who is in a low place right now, Just know, even if I can’t fix it for you, and who KNOWS how long you will be in that place? I have LOADS and LOADS of hugs, and just know, at some point it WILL get better, and you may not even notice it happening.
Love you all. Keep fighting through, and remember I care and even if I am not with you, I am here!!