Emotions run wild

I have to be honest, I am not even sure what to post here, not yet. But I just need to let some of the weirdness out. Maybe stop my mind from whirling?

As I mentioned, I think last post? I am adopted, got my information, and made contact with a cousin (I think? I have no clue how family tree stuff works, I get confused easily).

I have been having a back and forth with this lady, she is very nice, and also adopted! So that is very helpful when I have a panic attack moment and spew forth in a message about how I have no clue what I am thinking and blah blah blah.

Thing is, it has made bio-mom all that more real, and I feel a bit upset that this may have made things worse for her, and guilty, and even a bit regretful that I even started this whole mess.

I also have a strong feeling I will never let it get past messaging this woman on Facebook, as I am a giant chicken shit, and truly do not know if I could handle anything more than questions through this third-party.

On a completely different note … STILL nothing about LTD for hubby. And it’s pissing me off.

Work however is going well, and I have full-time hours almost every week now! And my body knows it. Forgot movement and standing uses muscles. haha My scale isn’t changing a whole hell of a lot, yet my old clothes fall off of me! So no clue. I may be losing weight? OR it might just be changing? Whatever, I like it. 😀

 

Can you lose your mind and be sad when things are going well? Not normal, right?

Finding myself battling off the dark parts of my mind right now, and I feel like I am in a place that should be happening. :/

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