Just a random post.
For the first half of my shift at work, I felt so out of it, no reason, just odd. Which got me to thinking. I don’t know if it is all my health issues, or if it is the weird weather, or just getting use to work, but whatever it is, I have been noticing lately that I am very quick to irritation with things and people (not as bad as just before my thyroid diagnoses, but close).
I am beginning to wonder if my depression is coming back? But in a sneak attack sort of way? Or who knows. Maybe it’s just simply a general frustration because of how my health is (probably that one).
I do know that this year, maybe past few?, has been very hard for so many people, some I care about deeply. Thing is, it is very hard to support and lift up others when you yourself are feel like the “end” (or good) is nowhere to be found. Hell, I myself have thought about just sitting down and giving up.
But I don’t think I could … (long story shortened, I failed once, never again).
Besides, Today it occurred to me WHY I need to continue;
1 – My brother, who suffers HORRIDLY, stopped by, and even with all he goes through, was HAPPY, honestly, and truly happy. His health is actually worse, with NEW problems, yet he was having a good day and talking about the future … and HAPPY!
2 – My husband is slowly improving, and seems a bit more relaxed in life, and while he is still struggling, I feel like he is more “here” and I love him so deeply.
3 – We may not be “well off”, and still have to watch what we spend, but we have a roof over our heads, most bills are caught up, some we even have credit!
4 – friends and those I care about me seem to be finally getting some happiness and good luck in their lives, which gives me hope.
5 – I had a person thank me. Actually came up to me and THANKED ME for my blog. *mouth gaps* Umm, yeah, figure THAT one out. (seriously? You ACTUALLY read my rambling nonsense? Girl, you need a better hobby. 😉 LOL)
Now, if I can just get answers for the rest of my health problems, I might just be able to hold on to this.
So, anyone who reads this, just know, no matter how dark it is in your life, people do care about you, and even if you don’t think you can go even one step further? You will! You have made it this far, and it may be a twisted path, but there are people you can lean on, that will help you find your way out.
I am proud of you, and if you EVER need a shoulder, I have large ones.
Fighting is tiring, it is hard, but don’t look ahead, just look down and count your steps, one at a time, you WILL make it.
1, 2, 3 …
ALWAYS keep fighting, rest if you must, but never stop.