Screw the placeholder

I’ll just start a new post. Started, of course, while sitting on the toilet, hoping for results.

Which brings me to my main point(s). As you are probably VERY sick of hearing, my health , especially my bowels, has been very erratic as of late. It has really taken its toll on me. Adding to the depression and just causing irrational (or maybe rational) anger towards my body, health, and the lot I have been given in life.

I once again went to my doc, both to talk about test results “dammit doc, how can they be normal?”, and to beg for an answer, “fuck you pal! Cut me open if you must, but I need a reason for this!”

Of course those are not real things said, though very much things I wished to say.

Turns out my hemoglobin (iron) is low, and though not tested for, probably my B12. Seems the one results shows no negative problems, no h. pylori (sp?) – causes ulcers and other stomach issues. BUT one of the tests did show blood in my stool.

Now, of course it can be almost anything, but since bio-mom has diverticulitis, it is most likely my issue. Which is both a bad thing and a good thing I suppose? Since this is most definitely a chronic issue for me, if it is diverticulitis, then most likely doc will try me on a very long course of antibiotics and liquid diet. (As in maybe 4 or more weeks) Being g a chronic issue, that may not clear up the problem, and surgery would be the next step.

But who knows.

First I need to have a full colonoscopy (may take months before getting it), and we can go from there. Of course other possible problems are polyps, abscess(es), issues from hysterectomy, and cancer. I am sure there are other things, but at this point, I am not sure it is any of those? Or maybe it is all of them?

All I know, is I want my answers. I NEED to be healthy, even if just for one week. I really don’t think that is too much to ask?

I will say, doc and I BOTH were kicking ourselves about the iron and my vertigo and such. After all, i have a history of very low iron. How the hell could we both forget that? I guess just concentrating on everything else?

I am taking iron, vitamin C, and B12 along with a multivitamin. Probably why I am sitting here for over an hour hoping for something to happen. Go from chronic diarrhea to being chronically constipated.

My life folks. Aren’t you jealous?

For a recap, my health problems, known and suspected, to date:

Hypothyroidism, asthma, allergies (that can cause/worsen asthma), low blood pressure (not so bad as to be dangerous), low iron etc, and now, some bowl/internal issue…


Oh, and of course there is the mental stuff; SAD, mild depression, and paranoia.

A walk in the park I’d say.

Suppose I should be trying to sleep, as I am ALWAYS exhausted. But how do I sleep feeling like my insides are trying to break free?

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One Response to Screw the placeholder

  1. Susan says:

    I will add to this, my B12 and iron better kick in fast. Between the headaches, blurry vision and exhaustion, I am slowly going crazy. It is making work so hard to handle or deal with.

    Even though answers might just be around the corner (hahahah colonoscopy, corner, I crack me up!), it feels like it is across the universe.

    I just want to feel better.


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