All I ever do these days is whine. I really HATE whiners, and here I am, being a whiner.
Anyway, if you follow me on twitter, or Facebook, you already know most of the following, so feel free to skip this post, or don’t. Either way, I’ll never know.
So, on Tuesday I worked. And while at work my bowels/stomach/insides kept getting this stabbing pain on the left side. I’ve had it before, nothing seriously, just usually means a cycle* is about to start, although, rarely it can be other issues – stomach flu, injury, or stuff. Thing is, when that pain happens I have enough experience to know one of two things will happen. One, I will try “eating” something like broth, or drink coffee, and all shit will break loose (pun intended), or two, the pain will build for a few days until it just disappears, in which case the next day I usually fill the toilet, but manage to escape the after effects I usually get. (scenario two is rare). Since the pain had started the night before (mild) I knew that on Wednesday I’d be in a world of hurt.
Since it was really slow at work, and there was a spare cashier, I went to talk to one of my bosses and ask about getting the next day off (she also has similar issues, easier to explain without the gross detail). WELL, she immediately touted the amazing powers of Aloe Vera gel. Made me PROMISE to take it when I got home (wanted me to take it right then and there, with a little over an hour to go).
So, I bought the ridiculously expensive stuff after work (1st mistake, got home, took what she said I should (2nd mistake!), just the way she said – straight, no juice or water – (3rd mistake).
It took four tries to get it all down, and even then, I never did swallow that last bit.
Let me paint you a word picture shall I? The texture of drinkable Aloe Vera gel is not unlike that of a bucket of cum that has sat out over night, been mixed with a slurry of unflavoured, unset, gelatin, run through a blender, and left a few more hours to set just a bit, then cut up in rough lumps, and JUST enough lime juice for flavour and to make it slippery.
Imagine that at room temperature. Imagine that jello not set for 2 days, gives you a hard time, and just the THOUGHT of cum in your mouth makes you throw up … THAT was my situation. Oh, yeah, I had a very hard time with it. I kept it down though, for 30 minutes. At which time I did not throw up, so much as it just slid up my throat and out of my mouth … no gagging, no “puking” just … a belch that brought half of the stuff back up.
Vivid enough for you?
Now if that wasn’t bad enough, within an hour I began to get this odd sensation in that left side – which spread to the whole inside of me – that was not unlike having your arm squeezed just a bit to tightly. Uncomfortable, sure, but not really a pain. Within 2 hours it felt like I had a boa constrictor the size of an old growth tree, crawling through my system. Finally, around 3 hours later I managed to sit on the toilet and defecate. Problem was, I really didn’t go much, and those feelings fade some, but a bruised feeling, not unlike I felt a few weeks after my hysterectomy, showed up.
The bruised feeling stopped this morning around 5, but the snake in my stomach hasn’t really stopped. But again, not much amounting from all this.
I did go talk to the pharmacist, and she gave me a prescription for an antispasmodic. I’ll take that tonight before bed (she said it will make me drowsy, most find it is a “head bobbing, nodding off while standing” sort of tired. So, not for work! LOL Plus she showed me the best probiotic to get, but over all from what I am doing, is all the right stuff (except not eating enough, which I can’t).
I still have no idea when my colonoscopy is. But holy fuck I want answers. I honestly have no clue how much longer I can deal with this before I throw a shit fit (again, pun intended. Not really sorry ..)
Joking aside, it really is wearing me down. I don’t even want “normal” anymore. I just want “less tired, slightly solid”. Hell, just energy would be fine.
I’m fine. Just …. fine.
And exhaustion brings depression …
*(for those who haven’t kept up, when I say cycle, I mean the cycles of my bowels. short version? There isn’t one, ask if you’d like to know more)