As you have all heard many times, I have undiagnosed internal issues. Possibly diverticulitis, maybe something else, just a big pain.
Adding to the problem is hemorrhoids (thought to be internal as well as the external). Due to the manifestation of my internal problems, mainly in how and when my bowels decide to evacuate themselves, the hemorrhoids OFTEN make their presence known with extreme pain.
Over the years I have tried almost all of the over counter medications, and even a few “natural” products. Hell, recently I even bought myself a sitz bath that fits in/on the toilet and gentle cleanses and soothes (in theory) the anal region.
Occasionally it even helps. But I have had a continuous bout of troubles this past week (which I am VERY proud to say, I did NOT allow it to depress my mood or general mental health), which has led me to some very interesting experimentations. The most recent (as in, in the last 10 minutes!) was/is my own homemade concoction of various natural and medicated items that have worked in the past, or online people swore by.
At this moment, I am not sure if I am going to laugh, cry, or throw up. I could laugh, just for trying such an outrageous mixture with no thought to what it could do, and the whole stupidity of it all. Or I could cry, simply because my bowels once again think I have something left to get rid of (how I could possibly have anything left inside me is a mystery). Or I could throw up because of the odd smell (not bad really, just … odd) and fact I still have no clue what is going on or how to stop it.
But, instead, I am sitting here, realizing that the pain has in fact lessened, and while I have a greasy ass that smells like some strange exotic dish AND minus the fact I still have some urge to go (and internal pain), I ACTUALLY, finally, miraculously, have some modicum of relief.
How or why my strange brew worked, I will never know. OR for how long it will last! But I am thankful for now. And will hope it lasts long enough for me to get some sleep.
Maybe I should bottle this? Though, it would need a prescription … (Yep, used some prescription stuff. Haha)
Fuck, I am insane.