What next?

I am finding it increasingly difficult to enjoy my job as my health constantly interferes with life. More often than not, my bowels and stomach will go into overdrive only a few hours (if I am lucky) before I have to leave for work.

Typical day when a  “cycle” hits (day off):

I begin to have increasing pain in my lower back, pelvic area (sharp pains), and through out my general abdominal area. After a time, between an hour to 5 hours, my bowels will cramp as if a bout of diarrhea has struck, and I need to be on the toilet quickly.

At that point, I am usually on the toilet for and hour or more while I feel as if it will never end.

At some point, nothing more happens, even though my body is INSISTING more will if I move. This is when I give up and wait 20 min to an hour for the second, worst wave to hit. This is when I feel like I am in labour all over again. Usually it involves involuntary grunting, the occasional tears, swearing, and sometimes wishing for death.

If I am really lucky, after another hour of that, I will pass a blood clot or two (supposedly from the hemorrhoids, so apparently not serious), and finally feel relief from the cramps and urge to go.

If I am unlucky, I just have more episodes of this off and on through the day. Usually after the first 2 times, all i pass is mucus, maybe some fecal matter, but nothing of import.

At some point, the sitting ends, and the soaking begins. This is where I destroy millions of trees a year. (Nothing but paper towels works)

I soak paper towel in hot water, from our taps, that is 140 degrees Celsius. Yes, it is hot enough to actually turn skin red instantly. But it’s the only method that stops the pain of the hemorrhoids.

It is a pain that feels much as I assume a man feels when they are kicked, HARD, in the testicles. When it hits, I tear up, need to suck in my breath, and feel it right up to my eyeballs!

I soak this way for almost 10 minutes every 30 minutes. I do this for about a day and a half, at which point I begin to feel human.

I then have a day or two (sometimes) when I do not have the urge to go and I have good days then. But then it starts all over.

Majority of time, even on my good days, I feel an odd knot/cramp like sensation just under and left of my 4th or 5th rib (NOT my heart, but close), and I swear, I can track it as it travels through my body. But, oddly, that one spot – while varying in intensity – never stops being an issue.

I assume it is the stomach (logic), bit ulcers has been ruled out. And not usually a symptom of IBS (which is why we haven’t ruled it out fully, but now suspect that is not the problem).

IF it IS diverticulitis, then the stomach pain would indicate a blockage from years of damage. This blockage could be anything from a cyst, ulcer (not that kind apparently?), or even cancer.

This is why they want to do a colonoscopy, as it is the best at finding that sort of thing. Problem is, non-emergencies can take up to a year to get in. Doc figures 6 months, since I am not an emergency, but I am a “concern”. I have the name of the doc who does them, so will phone tomorrow and ask VERY nicely (they get LOADS of calls) if they might have a timeline for me.

At least then I will know.

Anyway, thanks for listening to me whine.

I really am trying to avoid that, but this is slowly wearing me down mentally, and physically – I still am exhausted at all times, and have trouble eating a full “real” meal. I KNOW I am not getting enough.

So yeah, I apologize for Always going on about this, I just to vent. Not sure how much longer I can go on not knowing what the problem is.

HATE to bung up the hospital system with non-emergencies, but may find myself doing just that if I think it will help me figure out what’s going on. Hell, at this point, I would pay someone with comic book advertised x-ray glasses to look at me if I thought it would help.

*Shrug*

*Note, this was written in its entirety while I was on the toilet.

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