Oh the things the body can produce!

(Note: This post is quite the whine fest. And DEFINITELY TMI)

Let’s face it, I am one miserable, unhealthy human being. If it isn’t one problem, it’s another. I have mental health problems, I have physical problems. Usually, I am lucky, and only one thing will bother me at a time. But since February, I have been having ALL the health problems slowly pile on. Much like a game of bulldog, but so slowly I haven’t fallen down yet. Which actually amazes me.

Just as a refresher, here is the list of things wrong with me:

  • Hypothyroidism (which affects EVERYTHING!)
  • Allergies (to everything but dogs – possible food allergies, undetermined)
  • Asthma (brought on by both of the above)
  • Chronic cough (brought on by the asthma – technically the are the same, but last few days, separate?)

Newer, unconfirmed (but doc strong suspects – past history and all)

  • Bacterial overgrowth in intestines
  • Infection in the lungs (unsure if bacterial or viral)
  • Sinus issues (again, unsure if infection, or side effect of allergies, or possible something else)

Problems that are probably side effects of one or more of the above (or medication):

  • Body/joint pain
  • Bloating (to the point that I actually look pregnant! And folks … NEVER ASK! fuckers…)
  • Constant headaches
  • Insomnia
  • Fatigue
  • Alternating between frozen, and over heated
  • Mood swings (mostly likely due to frustration?)
    • Anger
    • Depression
    • Okay
  • Worsening bad breath/taste
  • Weird rashes that flare up, but disappear minutes later

There are so many more, I can’t even keep track of them all. I have started a health journal, in the hopes it will help me find any triggers of certain symptoms, and perhaps allow the doctor to maybe find either a connection between everything, or if separate things, be able to figure out what, without a doubt.

In the 40 -45  years before my health crapped out, I don’t think I ever ONCE even imagined I would look at, or smell poop as much as I do. I mean come on! How many of you out there (unless you have some sort of health issue) track your poop based on size, colour, consistence, smell, and what is mixed with it? I’m willing to bet very few actually give your poop more than a passing glance.

I, on the other hand, Can take up to 3 – 5 minutes studying, noting, and writing about what the hell is in my toilet. I also track how long it took, and pain levels etc that I experienced during that time. THEN there is the need to soak my butt with hot cloths because of the hemorrhoid pain and leakage. But that’s just routine at this point.

And NOW, now I have started to track what comes out of my nose and mouth. Honestly, I have mucous coming out of almost every opening my body has. If I can ever get healthy? No one EVER mention the word mucous to me, ever! “You won’t like me when I’m mad”

I will say this, it is amazing the shades of colour mucous can get. It’s actually very similar stats for the poop tracking.

Of all my problems, right now, the coughing is the worst. I can’t go 20 minutes with out running to the bathroom, otherwise if I cough I pee myself. Sexy, right? *sigh* I do wear pee pads, but when you are a larger girl, and it is the coughing that FORCES the pee out, you still manage to somehow MISS the pad (HOW? I don’t know), at least one every 3 time. Which is every time while sleeping. I can wake up before the cough, but getting to the bathroom (I need to dress first – I have a kid I don’t want to scare) before said pee makes it out of my body at mach 10 (is that a thing?) is very unlikely.

One day, maybe when I am dead, I won’t have most of these problems, and I can look back, as I haunt every last person who mocked me or was just a jerk, and laugh about just how miserable I was during this time.

But until then … *Flips up middle finger* FUCK y’all who are mostly healthy! *sticks out tongue and flounces away in a huff*

*sniff* so not fair ….


This entry was posted in depression, General, Health, TMI. Bookmark the permalink.

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