Look, I KNOW I am sick, No, my doctor has yet to test me for everything out there (it is a slow process of elimination), but eventually he will probably get around to whatever it is you are suggesting it is I have.
See, this is the thing. People, PLEASE, I KNOW you mean well, but STOP telling me what it is you think I have. In this day and age of Google, Web-MD, and a trillion other “medical sites”, it is very easy to look up what you think it is I have. But guess what? That thing you think I have? Has the EXACT same symptoms as the thing Aunt petunia from Timbuktu thinks I have, And you know John, from across the street? Well the horrible thing HE thinks I am dying from? Has the same symptoms as what you think I have.
So stop. Just stop. I am so damned tired of everyone telling me what they think I have, or don’t have. NO. I have no been tested for malaria, or scurvy, or some other weird disease. No, I haven’t been tested for MS, Lupus, or other not so weird illnesses. But you know what? IF, I have one or all of them, it is not up to you to suggest what my health problem might be. That is for me and my doctor to figure out.
Look, I know, I know I sound bitchy. But guess what? I am not sorry. I DO appreciate your concern, I appreciate the fact you care and are just trying to help me. But it is NOT up to you to scare the fuck out of me with some incurable (or even curable) illnesses.
My doctor IS doing right by me the best he can in a slow assed system. So many of these health issues have no definitive tests for them. Which is why my doctor is starting with testable problems first, and as we eliminate diseases and illnesses we will eventually get to whatever it is you think I have.
But let me tell you, if I DO have “your illness” (that you suggested) you do NOT get to say I told you so. You do NOT get to smirk, or offer advice, or any other “helpful” things. I will do this MY way, along with my doctor.
I am in Canada, it is free health care, so sure, it is slower, but it also means I do NOT get to walk in to my doctor and say “test me for XYZ” not without cause. If there is no direct link to the illness, the tests will cost big bucks. BUT, if through process of eliminating the obvious my doctor feels I need those tests, they will then be covered.
I get it. You are trying to be helpful. I do, I appreciate it, it shows me you care.
But, seriously, all it does is freak me out and start second guess my, and my doctors, treatment plans. Which adds stress, and let’s face it, stress is a HUGE trigger for almost everything. I am stressed enough about how close I am to the EI cut off, and trying to get back to work. I don’t need added stress.
Yeah, sure, I have the symptoms of a butt load of illnesses and diseases, but that doesn’t mean I have them. Or hell, maybe I have them all.
Just please, Let me handle this my way.
And if you are reading this, but don’t know me, or have never made a suggestion like this to me, please remember this goes for anyone. Us sick folk need the support, appreciate and need the caring, but suggestions like this are stressful.
If you REALLY feel a doctor isn’t helping a loved one, there are other ways to go about it. And trust me, your loved one usually knows, if the answers aren’t coming fast enough, when it is time for a second, or third or millionth opinion.
Your best bet is to just be there, listen, support, and care. If you NEED to say something, Just gentle remind your loved one they DO have the right to ask for a second opinion, or a specialist. And remind them to keep track of ALL symptoms, no matter how small. Point form is best, that way they can share it with their doctor. Point form is best because doctors seldom have time to read through a whack of stuff, point form is easy.
Here ends my rant. Thanks for listening.