Deja vu – But not the fun kind.

For as long as I can remember, I have had odd Deja vu “episodes”. As a kid, it was more like remembering a dream. No ill side effects. Just dreams I never had (that I could remember) popping into my head. Didn’t help I had a VERY vivid imagination, so I just chalked it all up to that. It wasn’t like I had it a lot, maybe one a year or so?

In my teens, I think that whole time I maybe only had maybe 2 episodes. Again, just figured it was memories of my childhood. Once I became an adult and had my son, they became more intense. They started to have physical effects as well.

When we lived in town (from sons birth until he was 8?) I only had maybe 2 in that whole time, but those were the first ones I had that had the physical symptoms. I would get sweaty, but cold, narrowed field of vision (slow blackening of vision), very intense nausea, and other symptoms similar to what most people get just before passing out or throwing up.

*knock on wood* I have yet to pass out from it, but during the episodes, while I am conscious, what feels like a short time, usually turns out to be about 5 – 10 minutes. Once we moved out-of-town, I began to have them more often, almost one every month or two. At that time, it was the same “vision”, almost like I was looking through a veil (like in cheesy movies when they see through time – cloudy, but you could step through and be there). The harder I tried to focus on the “memory” the worse the nausea would get.

Once we moved to this house, the first few months I had quite a few, then they slowly disappeared. I hadn’t had one in over a year, only to get hit with one last night.

This was the most intense one I had had in a very long time. It was so bad it affected my stomach problems, I felt very sure I was going to throw up and have diarrhea. I was sure of it. Usually I can control nausea, force it to pass, but I was fighting it so hard, and felt I couldn’t get a handle on it.

It was a different “vision” than any I have had before, and the shower spray and song I was listening to seemed to be the triggers? It was absolutely scary.

I have researched it in the past, and it seems to be either “Nothing to worry about, just past lives or forgotten memories being recalled” (Not getting into THAT … pftt) or “They are petite mals from epilepsy”

I finally (last year when I had a few in a row) asked my ex-nurse Mom about it, and without even telling her what I had researched, she stated with conviction and authority “Oh. Tell your doctor, you are having petite mals”.

Of course, it is the ONE thing I forgot to add to my list of symptoms, and have never mentioned them to my doctor. *forehead desk*

Someone remind me for my next visit.

I’m a dork.

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