All the thoughts!

I have so many thoughts and emotions screaming and running in my head, I don’t know how to stop them!

Please bear with me as I try my best to keep this post coherent, and not to rambling. I just really need o get some of these thoughts and feelings out.

Hey, I’ll take feed back if you are willing?

First thought, I have a doctor’s appointment next week. I need him to fill out some paperwork so I can use the loan insurance that allows me to stop payments while off work (plus they give me BACK money I have paid from the first day I was off! That’s 4 months of payments).  I am thinking about asking him to try to get me in for surgery to check for adhesions. We have to wait forever for the gastroenterologist, so why not do something while waiting? The more thought I put into my health, the more I am convinced it is adhesions.

Second loudest thought, I want money! I mean, don’t we all? But I have a creative bug in me, and everything I want to do involves spending money. A fair amount actually. Especially as it’s not to sell (unless people want to buy crappy clothes and purses, and stuff). I just want to make things. No pattern (except what is in my head), just go for it.

I have new ideas for purses, and I think if I could make the pattern first, it’d be easier to do (not that I’ve had many issues before, just poor planning), and they are SCREAMING to get out of my head. I also have an idea for a dress. I don’t wear dresses, but I really want to make this one. An empress waist line, open back with crisscross ties. I want the fabric to have a subtle design pattern, either Wonder Woman or Supernatural, or hell, if I had the money? BOTH. I want to make a match purse/wallet/clutch type thing to go with it(them), and hell, I could even re-purpose my old shoes (if I could figure it out) to match the outfit.

AHHHHHHHHH Okay, I lied. The making/creative voice is THE loudest. I can SEE the dress(es) and purse, and shoes … I can almost touch them. I NEED to make them. I have no CLUE how, especially without a pattern, but I am pretty sure I could make one, if I had the right tools.

Again, it all boils down to money. WHY? WHY does everything have to cost money?

This is what I want to make!

See, my brain has ideas, my body is mostly able, and willing (some days). WHY does it need money?

Okay, well. I have lost steam, and brain has settle. Should have just started with the drawing, might have avoided this post altogether! haha Probably both helped. The post for getting my ideas out, and sparking my need to draw it out (yeah, half way through a post I stop to draw … go figure).

 

Oddly, now I am exhausted. But that has more to do with the sleeping pill after effects, pain-killer, and only 5 hours of sleep, than it does this post.

 

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