I use very graphic imagery and descriptions to explain my pain. It could be offensive, or even a trigger. Please proceed with caution!

I had a doctor’s appointment today. another one that I left feeling like things are moving forward. Sometimes I feel like nothing is happening, or, at least not fast enough. But this one felt better.

One sec, let me back up a bit here, because this appointment wasn’t even originally about do anything other than paperwork.

A week ago, I had a call from the lady who did our consolidation1 loan. Not even sure I remember what it was about? I think … OH. Yes, just to let me know this months loan might be taken out late because of system upgrades. I asked her if I had gotten the insurance for if I was off work sick or injured. She looked it up, said I did, and sent me the paperwork. One of the pages was for me, one for employer, and one for the doctor. So I made an appointment with doc for that.

Now, ever since this health problem has started, it keeps changing. I have good days and bad. It’s REALLY taken a toll on my mental health as well as physical, so any time I think I might have a clue what it is, I take the information to doc. Last few times, he and I both agreed that it is beginning to really point to adhesions. And, since this past week or two has been more pulling, cramping, and sharp “ripping” pains, it really set in my mind that it is adhesions. plus just how different things are from before the hysterectomy, after the hysterectomy. And going back even further (keeping in mind that adhesions can take many years – if at all – to show any symptoms), to my c-section, I am convinced it is adhesions.

Graphic section

Two nights ago, I was having my usual cramps, and spasms, which obviously meant I’d have to be in the bathroom for a minimum of an hour. And soon. By the time that moment came around, I was in some serious pain. Thing is? that pain was NOTHING compared to what was ahead for me. Honestly, it felt worse than child-birth (mine was complicated and bad, and it was worse than that), felt worse than my first BM after my hysterectomy, it felt …. like someone took a knife stuck it inside my vagina, cut through to my bladder, and started to slash it around cutting up my bowels. BAD. VERY. VERY. BAD. I was taking a deep breath, ready to call my husband to come help me and take me to the hospital, when the pain just. POOF. Snapped, and faded off.

End graphic section

Now comes the gross part. (I know, the descriptive part above was brutal. But, this is just gross.)

I always look at what is in the toilet when I am done. I need to keep track of what’s coming out of me. I do this so I can let doc know if anything changes, or check for blood etc. What I saw gave no explanation for the pain. Not that type of pain at any rate. It appeared as if I was constipated, the texture at any rate. The amount was negligible compared to my usual amounts. But, when I flushed? it dissolved like nothing. was very soft. What? NO CLUE what the hell.

Anyway, the remaining pain made it difficult to sleep, or think, but I had already had half a Percocet a few nights before, so stuck with Tylenol, Advil, and my heat bag (which is not fun in the heat we’ve been having!)

It was then I decided to talk to doc about surgery for adhesions. Beg if I had to. At that point I was determined to grab him by the throat and strangle him into a yes if that’s what it’d take.

Look, my doc is doing his best. Tests, referrals, imaging. But at this point? I need it over. So when I saw him today, a lack of sleep, no break from the pain, I was very close to tears. Thankfully he didn’t mention it. (he KNOWS I hate – HATE – crying) If he had I would have just said allergies. But his tone always softens and his voice lowers when that happens. sigh

BUT, the whole point of this rambling jumping post – Doc is referring me to a LOCAL gynecological surgeon (he was the one who was supposed to do my hysterectomy, but was on vacation at the time)who will be able to give a second opinion. Doc debated about just putting me in for the surgery, BUT, the medical system HATES paying for surgeries if not needed, or no evidence to back the need. SO this doc will give me the second opinion, as well as be able to expedite the surgery time (has loads of pull in this town)!!

Now, as doc said, he may not like the idea of adhesions, but knows about them, and has agreed in past, and since he’s the one who can get things moving, it’s the best route to go. PLUS it will only take just a few weeks (4 max my doc said) to get into him, and he will more than likely be able to get the surgery going just a few weeks after that. YES, with recovery time that does push me past the end of august, which is when the money runs out. But, once I have a surgery date, I can call all the companies we deal with, and hopefully set up either lower payments for a short time, or suspend things or something?

All I know, is this feels like a really good few steps forward, with no back steps?

Now, if this pain would go away?




  1. I also needed new computer – didn’t want to do park paperwork by hand, but not able to write it off, because also personal use. 
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