Short post??

I never know if posts I mean to be very short will stay that way, but here’s hoping!

The problem with a long-term, untreatable (for now), undiagnosed illness, is many. The main one at this time? Is my imagination going absolutely wild with what I might have. I was CONVINCED I had adhesions, but then I stumbled across information on ovarian cancer, and now I am scared (well, more just sort of worried) that maybe THAT is what I have.

All I know, is as time marches on, and we get further and further in debt to rent, to bills, to …. everything, the more I start to panic.

And honestly? I have no one to blame but myself at this point. IF I had applied for the insurance on my loan right from the start, I wouldn’t be so panicked now. See, once that insurance comes in? We are FINE until 2nd week of September. If I can get back to work then, we can have every bill up to date by mid October, and be able to spend extra on things by end of October.

Yep, with only 2 full weeks of work we can be stable again. Well, our gazillion in back rent won’t be caught up for a long time. But that’s another story.

I just need a nice big lottery win and I won’t have to worry. πŸ˜‰

hey, I am just grateful that the surgeon agreed to take a look inside. NOW I just have to convince her (on the day of surgery no less) to take tissue samples to check for cancer … Good luck to me!

Just wish all these doctors would quit saying I am constipated or have IBS. READ UP GUYS! I sure as hell have. IBS flare ups only last a few days (IF you even have a trigger) and go away for weeks, months, sometimes years. Not this constant, getting worse problem I have. As for the constipation? Yeah, maybe there are times that adds to my issues, but when I was going non-stop, or every day, more than once, and a lot, for almost a month? I doubt that is the underlying problem!

Whatever, I am hitting the long-winded point so I’ll stop.

It may be hard, sometimes seemingly impossible, to fight off depression and anger, but I am doing it. And knowing I have friends and family who have my back when I need it the most? Has kept me from caving.

If nothing else comes from all of this, at least I have learned EXACTLY who I love, who loves me, and just what it feels like to receive that love and kindness for no reason, other than being me!

That alone is damned near worth this shit. πŸ˜‰ Well, maybe, not all the way worth it. hehe

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