I think it’s day 2? Do I count the surgery day? Do I count today? So maybe it’s day 3, or even day 4.
Whatever day it is, it’s starting off a bit rough. See, last night my bowels finally started to move. That was great. Much less pain than I expected, and for the first time in so many years I don’t know, I had actual, normal poop!
Today I woke after only 4 hours of sleep. Which is normal these days. And is just habit now. I need to retrain my body. Things we’re good. Sure my hemorrhoids were (still are) sore, but no real pain, and feeling good. So I putter Ed a bit in the kitchen. Rinsed the dishes, cleaned the sinks, and wiped the counter. Nothing to strenuous, no heavy lifting. Just puttering.
Now, I can’t say with all certainty that it was the puttering, it could be the lack of sleep. But I ended up being very nauseous, still am actually. That metallic dry taste in the back of the mouth. The slight cramping that says you might have diarrhea, a general flu like feeling all over.
I feel, gross.
It could be either of those, the puttering, the lack of sleep. Or it could be the anesthetic, it does take me about a week to get over it fully. Or it could be allergies, the weather even.
I just know it is not fun, and it sure seems like my body is telling me to slow the fuck down. It is hard to. Slow down. I have been on my ass (and many days my back, in bed) for over 5 months. And unwell for over a year before that! So of course when I finally feel good I want to do things. It just makes sense.
But, obviously my body is telling me to be patient. Ease into things. I have some time before panic needs to set in.
I just need to slow down for a little longer. If I am okay now, I will be okay in a week.
Recovering from surgery is hard. Coming out of the darkness of an illness is hard. Slowing down is hard. I just need to remember, that last one isn’t as hard as I think!
Just, slow down!