I was sitting here and thinking about friends. I personally have no friends, well none that live near me or that I have met. 😀
90% of the time that is just fine by me. Friendship is hard work, and in my experience, usually I do all the work, just to get shown the door or swept under the rug.
BUT, my husband, he had LOADS of “friends” or, at least people that said they were friends? And the more I think about it, the more I get pissed off for him. He hasn’t said anything to me about it bothering him, but I can imagine it might?
See, people were always talking to him (when we were out and about), asking him places, and if he ever took time off they’d say they missed him, etc etc. BUT, in almost a year he has had off? Only ONE, ONE person has actually tried to call him, and that was just recently. Oh, sure he has had the odd message on FaceBook, but he seldom goes on there, and when he does he doesn’t even look at articles, usually just goes straight to the games (He doesn’t internet well. 😉 )
So, I have to ask, how much to these people really care about him? In my eyes, they obviously are not friends. Almost a YEAR and no one has tried to reach out to him. Ask him if he is ok, go for coffee, or anything? I’m not saying he would, and I’m not even sure he’d answer the phone. But don’t you think if you class yourself as caring about someone it would be appreciated? SHOW the person you ACTUALLY care?
let’s face it, a Facebook message is no way to reach out to someone. Especially someone who has anxiety and depression.
Again, I am NOT saying I know his mind or feelings, but I know for a fact, if I had as many folks saying they cared about me as he
does did, and none tried to phone me, hell, send a letter? I KNOW I’d feel like “See? no one cares, I’m a nobody”. And how the HELL would YOU feel if the second you had mental issues people just stopped talking to you?
Now, This is not to say if you ACTUALLY see him out in the wild you should approach. Oh no! He can be skittish, anxiety does that to a person. AND NEVER EVER talk work. See, the 1 or 2 messages he DID read on Facebook? Were all “When you coming back? We need you. Come to work” etc etc. Umm hello? Do you not GET stress? Work talk is a no no!
Yeah, sure, you are a friend. Well, “friend”, thanks for fuck all.
Maybe I don’t get it because I have no friends, but I know if I were the said friend, after a month I would have e-mailed, Facebooked, and if no response, PHONED. I would have tried a few times, left messages of caring and SUPPORT. You know, what people NEED when not doing well.
And look, for those of you out there in internet land that DO check up on people, do care about your friends, in case they haven’t told you lately, it is GREATLY appreciated, and even needed.
I salute true friends, and give you a hug in case you need it. Sometimes, people who need support aren’t always in the right place to give any in return. Be patient, it can be hard on them to have contact, but trust me, even if they don’t talk to you? Just knowing that support and love is there, it is a HUGE HUGE deal!