Been FOREVER since I’ve posted on here. But, seemed more appropriate to post here than on twitter. Especially as my blog get way less traffic (from real people).
I just seriously need to say that my depression is flaring up horribly. I don’t know if it is this whole virus thing — I mean, to be honest, my life hasn’t changed at all. I am a SERIOUS introvert when not at work, and rarely leave the house — or if it’s the weird sleep, or just because of my chronic health? I mean hell, could be because I have no friends (like, rl “girlfriend” type friends). Doesn’t help that hubby has been sick for months (my guess is because of the amount of sugar etc he has been eating, and due to his diabetes well, it’s affected him physically and I feel mentally?)
Whatever it is, it has me feeling like I am completely unseen, and unknown to anyone. Like, if I disappeared, would anyone notice. (I mean like just *POOF* no longer online. NOT like missing, missing, or dead missing!)
I KNOW it’s the depression. I do. But it doesn’t seem to stop my passive aggressive plea for sympathy and “love” on twitter. I WANT to delete those tweets, but won’t I’ll own my idioticness (pftt is too a word. I just made it!).
Which is why I came here. HERE I can say “Hey, I KNOW why I am doing X & Y, And ya, I want that, but man, this sucks” or something like that?? I don’t know! I am tired, gross, and moody.
I had a shower to wash away all my ickiness (Same with this word. ALL MINE!), and help my physical pain a bit. And was REALLLLLLLLY looking forward to clean sheets, but it is now past 1 am and hubby STILL is sleeping, which means I have to crawl back into gross sheets. And I just really don’t want to, but I am exhausted, in pain, and just plain cranky. I NEED my bed. 😦
Anyway. I will watch ONE more show, and then give into the sleep monster. It scares me for no reason at all. Stupid depression.
JUST LOVE ME DAMN YOU ALL!!!
(I love back! mostly. I think?)
Lonely Thyroid 